Friday, August 22, 2014

Friend Flirt

Just hung out with an amazing new lady-friend, which is a big deal for a homebody like myself.  I declined to tell her about my thoughts on the "friend flirt", which in my (derranged) mind is how one goes about trying to make a new girlfriend, (for platonic hanging out, like friends...jesus christ).  So naturally I will blog about it.

Here is an example of how I tried to friend flirt recently:

"Cool girl" at local coffee shop: "Aw, I like your shirt" [I was wearing a shirt with a giant cartoon cat on it - for reference click here]
Me: Thank you! 
Cool Girl: [polite smile and hands me my change]
Me: I got it because it looks like my cat.
Cool Girl: [polite smile]
Me: His name is Stevie.
Cool Girl: [silence]

Now, it might shock some of you who are reading, (i.e., my mom), to know that I have trouble making friends.  On the outside, I look like an (occasionally)nice, (somewhat)normal, (mildly)respectable lady.


But on the inside, in my soul, it's all:


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